February 15...

Now that Valentine's day is over, I feel like I can actually say it.

I hate Valentine's Day. 

But it's not in that stupid "I'm single, I'll never have a boyfriend, screw anyone who does and screw love too!" No. Let me explain. 

When I was a kid, V-day was a pretty big thing for me. I woke up with a fraction of actual Christmas Day Joy. I couldn't wait to see what was upstairs. The Iron Man would usually have some sort of candy/card setup. It really doesn't seem like a big deal now, but it was really nice to feel that amount of love. It made my day. Now, I'm not saying I need a cheap card and some candy to feel loved by people, but making this day a celebration of Daddy-daughter love kind of sets you up for a let-down when you grow up. 

This Valentine's Day, I felt like what I imagine most children go through when they realize that Santa doesn't exist. (Thank God, The Art Goddess had better sense than feeding us that little lie.) And I'm honestly not trying to be over-dramatic, though some who know me would say "not possible."

So with only my Nerds in my mailbox, I walked around campus in a foul mood. Feeling mocked by everything, feeling stupid for having expectations, and feeling a very real pain of the winds changing. 

Why should I believe that just because it's a stupid holiday, people would feel a need to reach out to me? I will give him some credit, I know the Iron Man didn't forget about me. He wrote a very lovely message on my Facebook wall. Sadly, I wanted to hang on to my anger and focus on what I lacked as opposed to what I had.

It wasn't until later in the afternoon, when my roommate wanted to check her mail, that I swung by for one last look, hoping, yet worried to be greeted by a empty, dark, hole. But I wasn't. I saw an envelope. It was from The Fiery Spirit in Indiana. I remembered that she asked for my address, what only seemed like a couple of days ago. But here it was, in my mailbox. On Valentine's Day.  

And the sun started shining again.

What's really funny, is that I shot her a text and she wasn't even trying for a Valentine's Day appearance. It just worked out that way. 

This time I end with a quote from her: "Take a journey to the light, find a ray of sunshine even on a dark and cloudy day. Find the faeries in the falling snow instead of dwelling on the clouds that caused the cold." 

Well how about that.